I’ve always been interested in exploring various ways to create and use poetry, especially the manipulation of language and form/visual structure of a work. In that vein, I’ve recently played around with the typical way Instagram writers use that platform – choosing an image and creating a meme-type post that includes a short piece of text. I certainly prefer long form poems, both for reading and for writing, but I do find the restraints I place on myself when writing for Instagram to be enjoyable, and sometimes the end result is surprising. This is my post for today:
We all have choices to make. [Cliche, I know, but bear with me.] Daily decisions that, however imperceptibly, shape the course of our lives. No matter how badly we want something, or claim to want it, or think we want it, at the end of it all, our actions show most clearly what we want. This has been one of the basic thought pieces I’ve puzzled with over the last several months. Human beings can say and think whatever we want, but unless we act, essentially nothing will happen. We choose what we engage, and life moves on, leaving us with the consequences of our decisions.
On to concept application:
I can claim that I want to be a writer, but if I rarely write and never attempt to publish, what really do I want? The questions all remain. The puzzle pieces, unorganized…I’m unsure if they even form a cogent image when complete.
What is it I truly want? What am I doing to get there? Do I even want what I keep telling myself I do? What holds me back? Am I scared? Of what? Rejection? Lack of talent? Failure? Do I even know what I want?
I don’t know that I can honestly answer all of the questions, or that I even want to know what my deepest fears and desires are. But I do know how to begin to address the daily struggle – write.
So here’s to hoping that I follow through with my idea and actually put pen to paper (or keystrokes to Google Doc, more accurately) and put a bit of writing out into the world. And hopefully not too much of it will include my conversations with myself over a cold beer in the middle of the night. Those talks are far too redundant. And boring, even for me.
I’ll end today’s brief reflection with this article I read yesterday, a fantastic quote, very reminiscent of something Flannery O’Connor also said…it makes me think even more about my writing – “A lot of writers say it’s about communication. It isn’t. I write for me. I write because I have something to say to me.” (Rabih Alameddine: “My Existence is Uncomfortable for People”)
I’m thinking tomorrow we’ll have something more creative.
I feel like I’ve “announced” several times that ‘my blog is back and active again.’ There was a time, 18+ months ago, when this site had at least 3 new posts every week, typically more. But life happens. Or we choose what to engage as life plods forward, and some things fall by the wayside. [This is the topic of tomorrow’s nearly completed post.]
Regardless, I’m back. Again. Maybe. Hopefully. The plan (as it stands now) is to actually begin use my website regularly. There will be some reflections, some mini-essays, some original creative work, and hopefully the occasional publication announcement.
There has to be a reason for this sudden renewed interest in a virtually dead website, right? If I don’t grab onto my dream now, I fear I’ll never have the courage to try again. All I’ve ever wanted to do, since the 8th grade, was write. Be a writer. With age and a bit of perspective, I know I am a writer. I write. But I’m ready to do something with my writing in a way I’ve never attempted before – place it regularly in front of a readership, and do nothing else. Just write.
So here’s to me. To my dream. My overwhelming desire.
As my Instagram handle denotes – @mejwrites.
Matthew is writing, again.